I am a mother of two grown children and a lovely grandaughter. I have been living with PH for over 15yrs- 10 diagnosed.  I know what it is to be at the worst of PH. See I was bedbound for at least 5yrs. Lot time to think. I was unable to take off my oxygen at all and walking three step seemed like a huge mountain. I am grateful for my doctors support. Especially Dr Horn. I remember the day that they was going to put me on Viagra. She went to Israel and they call her while she was on top of a mountain. I am so glad that she was closer to God when making that decision. I truly love my Jesus and believe in the power of words and mind. I tell myself that I am healed even thou I might be riding in back of an ambulance.  I believe if you say your ill you will be. Have you ever been in a room where someone has had an argument. Well, if you have you can feel the tension in the air but it's not the tension your feeling its their unkind words. The same goes if you say to your child you'll never good at anything. They won't be if those words are expose to this child. I know that I am very Blessed to be here and while laying on my bed barely being able to breathe. I told my Lord Jesus that if I ever got better, I would run a support Group. Well, DEC 4 2007 I started NYC uptown group. I love being a support group leader. I aim to make them forget that for one moment they can not breathe. I am thankful for the help I received from PH, cause to tell you the truth I didn't know. How to start. I or We have lost three members of our group. I was very close to two. The other I didn't have time to get to know him but one day when we finished our meeting. I brought him some juicy food he requested. So, I am glad I had that moment. PH has gotten on my nerves MANY times. See, I thought I would never finish writing my children book. But the Lord helped me and I look forward to it being published and donating to our PH children. I also entered my first cake contest and look forward to enter the Javitts wedding cake contest. Well til finger meets board- later

Well, I can't stop crying. I've lost my friend and PH member of our group. Angela Richards died 2-6-2010. The thing is I've been trying to get in touch with her. I so wished her family my prayers. We used to talk so much about nonsense and I loved it. She came to every meeting we had. The last meeting we had, we gave her a honorable gift and when she got home she called me and expressed just how much that moment meant to her. I will miss her dearly... sobs... I know that the Lord has his needs to take his Angel back home. Angela was a true angel. RIP my friend and know how much we will miss you.

your friend and support group leader.- Edi

Well , I'm doing well. Thank my Lord. A lot is going on yet not enough if you get what I mean. Today I miss my woman's prayer group - so disappointed cause I love being a Prayer Warrior. My Dad got operated and is doing well. I've been baking for my church and they've been loving it.  I'm trying to practice for Javvitts cake competition. I truly believe I can WIN! I hope to do one of three cakes Jesus walking on water, Mary anointing his feet with her hair, Faberge egg with a hole in the middle and dancer it that hole. All of these will require alot of precise work since the judge have no pity on you. When I was bed bound by PH. I knew that I wanted more, as do all of us a chance to do things as normal as possible. Well, I fight for that every day. I believe with all my heart that I will succeed with my book and with my Cakes. My Lord has given me another chance and I'm taking it and running (slowly) with it. Plus proceeds of my book will go to PH. Those who read this which cake should it be? Well, til finger meet board- Later

Well, humm. I've read many entries on depression. That green eye monster sure tries to take your light away. I to don't remember a day when I'm not a bleeding heart but if you were near me you wouldn't know that I suffer secretly. I think of the blues as a true challenge. See,  depression kind grows, so don't feed it cause it can get very dark if you do. I find that keeping myself a lilt busy helps. Many have family to find support but that's not the case here. Loniness is my biggest struggle with the green eye monster. So, I joined a church lately and it has changed my life. See instead of being home staring out the window like a child watching it rain, I feed the homeless and baking for the community. I have joined a baking ministry and Jones want me to teach people who want to learn how to bake. I feel so honored cause they know that I'm do have PH but they have yet and hope never to see just how bad it can get. The other day I was helping with the hope fair and can you believe it I FORGOT FOR ONE MOMENT THE I HAD PH and then I almost passed out( giggles). Then it all came back rushing at me , all the doubts and fears clouded my mind in an instant. I've been blessed to be able to have forgotten it for a min. So, I questioned myself can I do it can I run the baking ministry? Then I told my myself your daughter is going away to boot camp, you silly girl need something , something to fill the void. So I will take a chance even thou the green eye monster has creeped back in my life. So just when I think I got it all under control......See, I decided to try for the choir too and I prepared like you wouldn't know. I was going to taking a chance because Willy said there were not looking for stars. So I challenged myself and went for it. On the day of my auditioning there was Charlie and That MAN. I told him I had no singing experience and so we began  with simple note but I did it, till he said i was to sing after him ( what happened to singing my song) it all went wrong I'm for one didn't know the song and he expected me to know it. Then came the you have a pretty voice but need train. He might as well said "YOU SUCK " and Willie lied they are looking for star quality. See I didn't know I wanted it so bad. I want to show PH that despite it I CAN. But as I walked home I realized PH was all over my auditioning. The lack of memory/ air made me fail.It's not that I'm a great singer just would have love show my Lord how much he has given me and thank him but that MAN took that away, and I cried not because I felt disappointed but because PH was there sticking it tongue out at me. But that won't keep me I won't allow PH or the green eye monster to take my joy. So, here I go, I'm going to church and keeping my head held up high and will sing for my LORD! Even when I breathe my last it will have never taken me. So keep your heads up and stick your tongue out at PH! there PH take that!!!!!  all my love Edi